| (no subject) |
[Sep. 28th, 2006|11:39 pm] |
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My favorite part about running water is how I don't have any right now. Seriously, who the hell turns on their sink at 11:30 only to find that nothing comes out? |
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| College Looms |
[Aug. 16th, 2006|12:03 am] |
So uh...here's a college essay that I'm submitting for the common app since one of the topics is "a memorable experience". Feedback would be super swell(about the topic/essay as a whole, not massive proofreading).
( Read more... ) |
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| Did you know? |
[Apr. 9th, 2006|05:19 pm] |
That turtle egg is pretty much the worst thing you can call someone in Chinese? Fascinating isn't it? Okay, now that you've all learned something from reading this entry, I think that it's time for a little story.
( Read more... ) |
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| Goated. |
[Apr. 5th, 2006|04:50 pm] |
Well, it's kind of funny how this class of Microeconomics works. It started ordinarily enough, with myself making stupid commments and Mr. Raabe being amused and annoyed at the same time. Soon, however, we started talking about "poison pills" and how to prevent a firm from being taken over. Raabe decided to use Ben and Jerry's as an example, and explained to us how it's not beneficial for them to be the victim of hostile takeover, because they require that all of their milk be bought from Vermont. At this point we started going off on a bit of a tangent, and discussed milk prices, with a conversation something along the lines of:
Class: "Milk is cheaper in Wisconsin, Indonesia, etc."
Raabe: "Yes, why don't we name off all 270 countries and some states while we're at it?"
Me: "What about Ethiopia? Wouldn't their goat milk be cheaper since they get goat donations from people and they're poor?"
Raabe: "Clarence, you're making this stuff up aren't you?"
Me(lying): "No, I'm serious."
Raabe: "I expect a one page essay on the price of Ethiopian goat milk by Monday. I'm serious."
Me: *Cry*
So yeah, apparently it's kind of hard to find information about goat milk prices in Ethiopia through google. In fact, it's kind of hard to find any important information about Ethiopia at all, since I'm not sure if they have the internet. At any rate, I have this paper due on Monday that I actually have to do, since Raabe said that he'll crush my grade if I don't do it. So my question is this: Would anyone happen to have some random facts about Ethiopian (goat) milk, or have the ability to make a fake web page that compares the price of milk in several countries? |
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| God. DAMNIT |
[Feb. 27th, 2006|06:54 pm] |
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20 days since my last entry. Of course, as most of you know, it hasn't exactly been 20 days without any sort of fun filled event. So rewind to Friday, February 17, and ( let the fun begin. ) |
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| What.The.FUCK |
[Feb. 16th, 2006|05:49 pm] |
So apparently today was the first snow day that our school district has had since February 2001. This should have pretty much been a mental orgasm, since I hadn't done my homework from the night before. Unfortunately, I didn't really know that it was a snow day until I started driving to school.
( Did I say driving? )
So I procrastinated finishing this entry for hella long. I did get stuck three times the next day, when I had to drive through all of that shit. Of course, getting stuck in the snow is no longer relevant for me, seeing as how I'm in a bit of a...whale fuck. |
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| Six Feet Deep is the Incision |
[Feb. 7th, 2006|08:00 pm] |
I swear to God. I am so sick of almost dying. Really, it's getting ridiculous. At this point, I'm fairly sure that God is in fact a woman. Honestly, she needs to make up her fucking mind already. Either she can kill me, or she can leave me the hell alone. "Somewhere in between" is not an option. Anyway, I'm sure that all of you are expecting a story now, and of course I hate to disappoint. In fact, I have two stories for this entry, both of which involve a certain 1999 Toyota Corolla (I really need to name my car. Any ideas people?)
( Story Time! ) |
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| It's that time again |
[Feb. 1st, 2006|07:47 pm] |
Today was fairly awkward and unpleasant. My morning was the normal, boring "drive to school and try to not die" kind of thing, and nothing really interesting happened. Fast forward to lunch, however, and the fun begins. It all started when I remembered that I had a physics homework check today, and that I hadn't quite finished the assignment. "No big deal,", I say to myself, "I'll just do it now since it's lunch." Unfortunately, I search my backpack extensively and find that I'm at a distinct lack of physics notebook. I then remembered that I left the notebook at home on my bed. "Okay, whatever. It's lunch, and I should be able to make it back before fifth hour," I thought.
Several minutes later, I find myself driving down Mineral Point Road, which is a few miles from my house. Everything is fine, until I glance at my speedometer. And when I say speedometer, I really mean the gas meter to the left of the speedometer. You see, F and E are these two letters in the alphabet that are kind of right next to each other. F usually means that you're fine, and E means that you're extremely fucked. Unfortunately, the arrow on my gas meter was kind of below the E. In fact, the arrow was super below the E, and my gas light thing was blinking so fast that it almost gave me a seizure. "That's unfortunate," I thought, "but it's okay, because I'll just pull into this gas station up ahead." I manage to turn into the gas station. As I'm praising God for my unusual luck, however, my car stalls. Then it stops. Then it turns off completely.
"No problem. I'll just explain the situation the the guy working in the gas station and buy some gas." I fumbled into my wallet, and pulled out the most depressing two dollars of my life. Thoroughly annoyed and embarassed, I nonetheless walked into the gas station and asked the man for a bucket to fill up two dollars worth of gas. By this point I would've been perfectly content to just fill up my pathetic pail of gas, and then be on my way. Of course, I never get to be perfectly content. As I was filling the bucket up, I kind of messed up with the gas nozzle and spray a good $.75 worth all over the ground. Disgruntled, I paid the man for the gas and managed to return to school on the back of my $1.25 of gas, which had probably turned to vapor at this point.
You'd think that this would be the end of my for today, but no. After 6th period, as I was walking down the hall, I engaged in a conversation about a prop volcano. Now, this wasn't just any volcano. No, this thing was quite phallic, and it actually spewed stuff out. To sum the events up, I pretty much said something like, "so basically it's a giant exploding penis" in a relatively loud voice. Instantly, Ms. Staley, an older teacher who reminds me of a nice, TV grandmother who spends her time knitting, appeared in front of me. She then gave me the most demeaning look ever, which I replied to with, "HI MS. STALEY!" in an even louder voice than I had earlier used. At that point, I was pretty sure that she nonverbally said something like, "Is it too late for me to fail you for last semester?"
Anyway, I'm thinking about retelling a special story of mine from eigth grade. For those of you in the know (*cough, Holly, cough*), it involves the following:
1)Nose
2)Geometry Book
3)Kelby |
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| Rednecks and Red Vines Galore |
[Jan. 29th, 2006|02:58 pm] |
I've been fairly lazy recently, and updating this blog takes far too much time. Anyway, I went to Rob Schell's party last night. It was...interesting...to say the least. And I don't mean the kind of shady ass, sparkle juiced interesting. No, I'm referring to the, "What the fuck, why were you at a monster truck rally?" type of interesting. I honestly have no answer to such a question, but the night was pretty memorable. The night started with a congregation at Mr. Schell's house. There was much festivity, and a good deal of confectionary. Everyone was having a good time, and we headed off to the Alliant Energy Center to see the monster trucks. Aside from having to listen to Dirty Sanchez (yes, it's the name of a band), the drive was fairly uneventful.
( Read more... )
So that was the extent of my sparkle free, redneck filled weekend. Red Vines and Mr. Pibb are indeed crazy delicious. I'm sure that this weekend of mine paled in comparison to you musical kids, who had a fucking door fall in the middle of your performance.
In other news, my sister is probably the bitchiest 7 year old in the history of the universe. She just got into an argument with my mom about violin practice, which resulted in a dry-erase board set across from my mom at the dinner table with "I HATE MOM-MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" plaquered onto it in enormous letters. |
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